Forgotten Memories
by hollie-x
Summary: After an accident three years previous Ste has completely forgotten most of his life. What happens when somebody from the past returns, but Ste has no idea who he is?
1. Chapter One

**Forgotten Memories**

Cheryl took another long breath, not too different to the previous twenty she'd took in this rather…tiring phone conversation with her brother. "Brendan seriously you don't need to come here. I'm fine. I've got Amy coming and… the kids. The kids. They'll keep me entertained. You stay with Dec and Paddy they like having you around more often."

"Chez I really don't mind. Be good to catch up don't cha think?"

"No… I mean yeah it'll be nice of course it will but I'm fine here Brendan. Amy's coming for a visit to catch up with her mates. We was just gonna have a girly night in with everyone and get sloshed. It'll cramp your style."

"Ye don't want me to come do ya?"

"It's not that... It's… Brendan its St Patrick's Day! Spend it in Ireland please; I want you to have fun. The English don't really compare with the parties back home do they? I'm coming over in a few weeks anyway I'll see you then"

"Spose" Brendan chuckled. It was true. Sure England knew how to throw a good party, but St Patrick's day? That was one the Irish would _never_ be beaten on. "Haven't been in Hollyoaks for years though sis…"

"You will someday Bren… I've gotta go! Someone at the door. Speak soon. Love you."

Cheryl quickly ended the awkward conversation with her brother. She couldn't tell him the real reason he couldn't come this particular week. She had half told him the truth. Yes Amy was coming by for a little visit, well technically she was here already and yes the kids were with her. There was just one person she'd failed to mention. One very important reason he couldn't spend St Paddy's day with his little sister. Ste. Ste was that reason.

"Everything okay… erm" Ste stumbled, trying to catch Cheryl's name as he descended the stairs dressed in his trademark hoody and trackies. That's one thing that hadn't changed about Ste since the accident. Most people dressed head to toe in adidas would be labelled a 'chav.' Some stupid stereotype, and Adidas isn't meant to look so good on a person. But Ste, well anything would look good on Ste. She remembered Brendan loved Ste dressed in those clothes…

"Cheryl…" Amy prompted.

"Cheryl that's the one sorry" Ste flushed, embarrassed. She used to be his best friend, they'd spend hours on end together gossiping like an old married couple, pointing out all the fashion disasters lining the floor of Chez Chez. Not anymore though, not since a fateful night almost 3 years ago. A night that changed Ste's life forever…

Cheryl was jolted from her daydream... "It's fine love don't apologise. Are you going out?"

"Yeah gonna take Leah and Lucas to feed the ducks. Aren't we guys?"

"Yay!" Lucas screamed. He may be seven now, but he was still Ste's little boy at heart. Ste had virtually forgotten most of his life and he felt guilty of it. He didn't remember his birth, his first word, his first steps, first day at school, first time riding a bike. Nothing. Zero. Zilch.

"Want me to come Ste?" Amy asked.

"No it's fine. I think I'll be okay for an hour or so Amy. I have independence you know" Ste flashed a smile at his ex, just to show he was teasing her and didn't mean it maliciously. She still meant everything to him and always will do more or less. She had been there for him throughout possibly the most difficult time of his life. Coming to the hospital armed with piles of old photographs, old drawings the kids had drawn – and new ones. She'd tried everything she could do help Ste to regain his memory, and all to no avail sadly.

Ste opened the door, closing it quietly behind him.

"So?" Amy asked, glaring straight in Cheryl's eyes.

"So what?" Cheryl knew full well what Amy was getting at.

"Brendan… is he coming? Because seriously Cheryl if he's coming here, we've gotta g…"

"He's not. Don't worry. I've put him off."

"Okay good. I was really looking forward to this week and I don't want him ruining it like he always does."

Cheryl was just about to fight Brendan's corner, fight that it wasn't his fault. Fight that Brendan still talked about Ste non-stop. Asking if he was okay with his new life with his 'new man.' Of course there was no man; it just slipped out of her mouth one day when Brendan was threatening to track Ste down. She knew Brendan would never fully get over Ste, so maybe inventing this dream guy was a way of subtly asking Brendan to let go. To let Ste be with somebody who was out and proud of it. Somebody who was not ashamed to have a 'boyfriend.' Somebody who was able to shower Ste with kisses out in the open that he deserved. Somebody that wasn't Brendan.

"He won't. I promise. Come on help me with this dinner. You may be a guest, but you are a 100% better cook than I am."

"I'm not gonna disagree with you there Miss Brady."

Cheryl smiled at Amy, whilst in her mind willing Brendan not to turn up out of the blue. After all, Ste didn't even know Brendan exsisted. Cheryl never mentioned him. There were no photos. Nothing for Ste to suspect that the one person he had undoubtedly fell in love with, had never truly let him be rid of him in his head.

* * *

**Just a little something to set the scene I suppose. Hope it was okay. Review please, let me know if it's crap, how it can be improved, what you want to happen etc etc :)**


	2. Chapter Two

**Hi, update time! I'm still deciding what this "accident" is gonna be so bare with me :) Enjoy x**

**By the way I think I've messed the kids ages up. So let's go with this story cos it's kind of March 2016, yet Lucas wouldn't have been 7 until April. So for this particular story Lucas is 7, Leah is 9, Declan is 17, Paddy is 14 :) My made up ages. Ta x**

* * *

Brendan slumped onto his sofa. He tried to ring his sister most nights, just for a general chit chat, although to be fair most times she'd think of an excuse not to talk to him. He missed having her around and he was pretty sure she hated the fact he wasn't with her either, even if she didn't always show it. Granted, most of the time he didn't even want to talk about her in their discussion, he just wanted to know if she had heard from Steven. He thought about Steven every night before he went to sleep, remembering all the great times he had with him. The fact he was his _boyfriend_. The one person in his life he was open to, the one person he would happily confide his problems with. He loved him, he still did really, even know they technically 'broke up' three years ago. Except Steven didn't know that. Steven didn't even know they were together in the first place. He didn't know they were preparing to go on their first holiday as a couple before Brendan messed up his whole life.

Sighing, Brendan reached for his bottle of whisky on the table in front of him, not even bothering to fetch a glass. Pain relief, a way to stop his heart feeling like this, a blocker; that's what drink was. A way to forget, just for a few hours, that he couldn't live his life feeling like this. Gulping down the fluid, not even caring that the heat of the whisky was causing his throat to hurt. He hurt Ste, Brendan felt he deserved everything that happened to him. Everything…

* * *

"Dad, dad wake up"

"Leave me alone" Brendan murmured, hugging the bottle of whisky close to his chest. He felt nudging by his arm the next instant. "Declan fuck off."

"No! Dad you can't go on like this. Every fucking night I come home and you're laid across this sofa, drinking away your sorrows. It doesn't help dad!"

"Does." Brendan didn't even open his eyes, he just wanted to sleep.

"No. Dad it really doesn't. You need to get his number."

Brendan jolted awake then. "What?!"

"Ste's number, you need to get it."

Declan looked down at his father square in the eyes. He looked awful. He didn't have his trademark moustache that he'd grown up knowing. He had a beard now; he didn't take care of himself. To put it nicely he looked terrible. "You need to ring him."

"I can't."

He'd never exactly had this conversation with his son before, told him exactly how he felt. How did he know? Was it that obvious? Did he talk in his sleep about him? Had he heard his conversations with Cheryl previously asking how Steven's new relationship was going? Did Declan hear the jealously in his voice if he had?

"You can. Go to Hollyoaks Dad if Auntie Chez don't give you his number over the phone. Someone else might have it."

"Dec. Chez hates me. Everyone hates me. I deserve this. I deserve to die. And you know why?"

"Da…"

"DECLAN YOU KNOW WHY? COS I NEARLY FUCKING KILLED HIM."

"No Dad. You didn't."

"Go to the shop. Get me another whisky..." Brendan shouted, giving Declan a crisp 20 Euros.

"I can't..."

"It helps Dec… please." Brendan replied, gritting his teeth.

"I'm seventeen. They won't serve me"

"Tell them it's for me…GO HURRY UP!"

Declan took the money, turning round and running out of the door, allowing Brendan some free time to think, think things through. He took a breath in, reaching for his phone, dialling a number and waiting for an answer, he didn't even wait for Cheryl to say hi. He just started talking.

"Look Chez. I need his number. Give me his number."

"Oh. Wait a second. I'm Cheryl's friend. I'll get her for you. Hold on"

Wait. Wait back up there Brendan thought. He would recognise that voice anywhere, that soft Mancunian tone. Steven. Steven was at Cheryl's?! She never mentioned him when talking about Amy's visit…

* * *

"Cheryl…" Ste started, holding Cheryl's phone out towards her. "Somebody called B for you, he wants somebody's number."

Cheryl looked back in shock. There was no recognition on Ste's face, which relieved her. She always thought that if Ste heard Brendan's Irish voice something would click in his mind, bringing him back to where he was three years ago. In a weird kind of way, she hoped it did. Ste made Brendan happy ultimately, but she would never, ever forgive him for what he put Ste through, and that sealed her decision.

"What do you want B?"

"Why are you calling me B?"

"Just incase"

"Incase of?"

"You know what I'm talking about and you know why I can't talk right now"

"Why can't you talk right now? Oh yeah that's right. You lied to me Cheryl."

"Don't be angry..."

"Don't be ang... Cheryl do you expect me to be happy about this? It all makes sense now. Don't come Brendan, spend St fucking Patrick's day in Ireland Brendan, spend it with the kids Brendan. Why didn't you just say Steven is coming to stay with me. I don't want you anywhere near him, you'll fuck his life up like last time Brendan?"

"Because I know you'd still come..."

"Cheryl be honest with me okay? Promise?"

"Mhm"

"Does he even have this boyfriend?"

"What?"

"Did you make his boyfriend up Cheryl?"

"I've gotta go.. dinner's burning. Bye..."

Cheryl had to hang up on him, that whole few minutes of her life was unbearably uncomfortable. How could she possibly word the fact that she had invented this dream man for Ste, just so that her brother would stay away from him? It was impossible. Mean. Horrible. Everything.

* * *

Brendan stared down at the phone. She'd hung up on him. She'd hung up on him! He started to input another number into the screen.

"Come home Declan. You're dropping me off at the airport."

* * *

**Reviews make me happy :)**

**Any idea what this big accident could be? Help! x**


	3. Chapter Three

**Quick update because I'm bored. This may actually be my favourite fic I've written so far actually it's addictive. The reason I'm updating twice within 24 hours, the time is currently 1.30 in the morning LOL :) Enjoy x**

* * *

"I still don't get why you made me wait a whole fucking day Declan"

"Dad it's ten hours, hardly a day. Do you really think I would have driven you to the airport at eleven at night, no flight, pissed out ya brains?"

Brendan smirked.

"No didn't think so. Come on hurry up we'll be late"

"When did you grow up eh?" Brendan looked at him adoringly, remembering just how much of his life he'd missed out on, all because of his stupidity, the things he'd put Eileen through within their marraige, sacrificing seeing his baby boys grow up. "You'll always be my little boy."

"Shut up." Declan replied cheeks flushing, showing his embarrassment.

Brendan grabbed his suitcase from the floor, after fussing with it trying to get it shut for over twenty minutes previous, rearranging the inside and making Declan sit on it so he could prize the zip to close. He didn't even have a plan what he was going to do when he got to Hollyoaks. You couldn't exactly run up to somebody who had memory loss and explain how you used to be a big part of their life, how you were both totally head over heels for each other could you? No.

* * *

"Sure you'll be okay? Your Ma said you can go back there whenever you want, don't need to stay by yourself you know?"

"Dad… I'd rather slit my wrists than go and stay with her. I'm fine, I'll be fine…"

"And no friends. Or girls. Definitely no girls. Too young to be a granddad I am" Brendan gave him a nudge to lighten the mood a little – even though he was deadly serious.

"Wouldn't class 36 as young myself but…"

"Oi! I'm in my prime I am…"

"Too much information dad! Oh my god! Hurry up you'll miss you're flight."

"Love ye son"

"You too grandad."

"Hm. Definately no girls. Promise me."

"Promise! Go!"

* * *

The flight over to England was quick, quicker than he ever remembered it being anyway. He hated flying if truth be told, it wasn't top of the things he loved. It was all worth it though, just to even get a glimpse of Steven, it would be a bonus to actually get a conversation out of him. Collecting his case was rather straight forward too, it was one of the first off the conveyor belt seen as Brendan was one of the last people to check in. He heaved it off the belt - heaved because it was so fucking heavy. He couldn't decide what to pack. Suits? Trackys? Long shorts? He'd ended up packing most clothes, after all he didn't have any idea how long he'd be staying for. Best to be safe than sorry right?

He walked outside the terminal, flagging down a taxi.

"Where to mate?"

"Hollyoaks?"

"So literally the same journey I've just done?" The driver replied, starting his engine and setting off.

"Oh really? Who was that? I'm from round here, spent 3 or four years here a few years ago."

"The famous Mitzeee Minniver? Know her?"

"Oh Anne. Yep I know her. I know her alright" Brendan replied, smile plastered across his face.

"Oh you know her personally? She's hot right mate? Hold on are you and her..?"

"No. Mitzeee isn't really my type truth be told."

"Oh who is then? Kelly Brook's mine."

"Um not sure really. Spose that guy from The Script is alright" Brendan laughed. It wasn't very often he was as open as this with his sexuality, but boy was it worth it seeing the taxi driver's face drop in the rear view mirror, trying to concentrate on his driving but just seeing his shocked face instead.

"Oh. Sorry I didn't realise"

"It's fine."

* * *

The rest of the journey was quiet to say the least. The driver was obviously embarrassed, and didn't really know how to respond to the sudden death of the conversation.

"Hollyoaks mate."

"Thanks." Brendan handed him some money. "Keep the change"

Getting his suitcase out from the boot of the car was harder than getting it off the belt at the airport.

"I need to work out" Brendan thought to himself, noticing the new gym across the road, wondering if Steven would be using it aswell. Had he developed muscles since the accident? Had he gone to physio? Had he dyed his hair? All these questions were running through his head.

He got his phone out, searching his contacts, hoping the person he was ringing still had the same number.

"Hi Anne's phone who's calling?"

"Guess who."

"No idea. Another clue?"

"We kinda dated but kinda didn't?"

Something must have clicked in that little exchange alerting Mitzeee to Brendan's gruff Irish accent.

"BRENDAN?! BRENDAN IS THAT YOU?"

"Double B himself. Was just wondering if I could maybe stay with ye for a bit?"

"Yeah sure. When? I can't wait to see you! Hold on why can't you stay with Cheryl? Hold on knock at the door, one second I'll get rid of them."

She opened the door.

"I hope you won't get rid of them, cos I was hoping to spend a bit of time with ye?"

He'd hardly finished his sentence before she had flung her arms around him kissing his cheek.

"I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Here I am..." Brendan replied, gesturing to himself. "Brendan himself"

"Come in! Drink? We need a catch up big time!"

Remembering last night, his conversation with his eldest boy Brendan shook his head. "No, I'll just have a coke or something please. Need a clear head."

"Why? For Cheryl?"

"Partly. She's got visitors."

"Oh yeah I heard Amy was coming to stay. They've got weirdly close since you left you know. I don't get it, didn't they hate eachother at some point?"

"Steven's here aswell..."

"Ste's here? Brendan, your not supposed to be here when Ste's here! You promised them both!"

"Look's like I broke it then. Oops." Brendan smiled, and Mitzeee joined him. She understood him, she understood he had changed for the better. She knew how strongly he felt about a certain young lad.

* * *

**I like reviews. Reviews are good. Reviews make me happy. Did I say I like reviews? :)**


	4. Chapter Four

Brendan woke up the following day after having possibly one of his best sleeps in a while. It was very rare he'd go to sleep without getting drunk first, so waking up without a hangover was some what refreshing in a way. What else made him release a little smile was the fact he was kind of close to Steven, obviously not as close as he'd like to be, but closer than he had been in the last few years.

A knock interrupted his thoughts, to which Brendan called them to enter after a minute, quickly getting dressed beforehand.

"Sleep well?" Mitzeee asked handing him a cup of tea.

"Yeah, thanks for letting me stay Anne."

"It's no problem seriously; Riley's pissed off on this football trip for god knows how long. Nice to have a bit of company."

Brendan huffed. He didn't think Riley was any good for Anne; he took this football stuff too seriously in his opinion and it actually surprised him that she'd stuck by him this long. Love. That was the reason why and Brendan knew that feeling only too well...

"Any food going?"

"Ah so you've still got the same appetite I remember then? And no I don't actually. I've gotta wash my locks and then I'll pop to the shop."

"I'll go…"

"Brendan what if you're seen?" Mitzeee scowled at him, obviously worried about her friend. She was the only one that fought Brendan's corner back in the day, everyone else had turned there backs on him.

"It's 10 in the morning Anne. Cheryl will still be in bed. Don't rise before midday that one. I won't be long promise."

* * *

Brendan knew exactly what he wanted as he walked to Price Slice. Bread and bacon. Lots of bacon. He said to Mitzeee that he didn't think Cheryl would be awake yet, but he was still wary. The wrath of his sister was something to be very scared about and boy he knew it. The way she'd kicked off back when Brendan said he had to leave for Steven's sake, it would give him a new start to life, a new break. He believed it back then, of course he did. It broke his heart to leave but it was something he had to do. He'd known all along that Steven could do ten times better than himself but seeing him lying there in his hospital bed, dosed up to his eyeballs in painkillers, bandages and slings in place, he knew he had to go. He had to go because he blamed himself for what happened to Steven; so he had to let Steven go…

He made his way inside the shop, quickly glancing at the person minding the till. Teenage kid, never seen her before in his life. That was handy, imagining Frankie the local gossip being there had crossed his mind, and he knew before he counted to twenty Cheryl would know that he was lurking around. Brendan swiftly picked up all the items he required, stopping at the coffee machine while the checkout girl scanned his other items. He'd grabbed a few treats for Anne too, for her hospitality and that. The girl placed them in a bag for Brendan, too slowly for his liking; he paid and then sped out of the shop, not exactly looking where he was going, crashing into a passer by and ending up dropping all of his shopping to the floor anyway.

"Fuck sake, look where your going will you?!" Brendan shouted, dropping his coffee down his shirt, and seeing it drop to the floor alongside his shopping bags.

"Woah sorry there mate, didn't see you there…" the stranger said. That voice, boy did Brendan recognise it. He didn't even want to look up, he just couldn't believe he was this near to the person he wanted, yet he couldn't touch him. The urge was there, of course it was but to Steven Brendan was just a stranger, that was all. A weird man who he'd ultimately never met before in his little world. He couldn't look at him so he just mumbled.

"It's fine."

"Here, here I'll help ya" Steven started to pick up the items, brushing his hand with Brendan's accidently, causing Brendan to pull back.

"I said its fine St… It's fine okay." He'd started to say Steven's name, then remembering he couldn't. That would be weird and Ste would probably have been a little scared, put back; a randomer knowing his name. His Steven was in front of him and he hadn't even recognised him at all. He had no idea who Brendan was and that hurt. That hurt like a bitch basically deep down. Brendan looked up then, unable to resist. What he saw made him shine inside. Steven was there, infront of him...

He'd hardly changed at all really since he'd last seen him. Yes, he didn't have any plasters, cuts etc. And yes he was no longer in a hospital bed, but the real Steven under all of those barriers was there, and he looked more or less the same. It's just the fact he may have got a little bit older, but he still had the same baby face Brendan remembered, the one he'd fancied all those years ago. Steven's hair looked a little different though, darker perhaps Brendan couldn't put his finger on it but it suited him and the style was exactly the same as back in the day. He remembered how he'd like it when he brushed his fingers through it after having an intimate moment together, how it brought Steven comfort realising Brendan was still there and hadn't ditched him after sex like he used to when they'd first started 'seeing' eachother. His eyes were still that same shade of light blue staring back at Brendan, staring back as if to say what the fuck you looking at actually...

"Sorry..."

"Are you.. are you checking me out?" Steven whispered, obviously unsure what Brendan was doing. How would you feel if somebody you didn't even know was looking at you in such a way? Freaked out.

"No just thinking what a twat you was really.. walking into me.." Brendan didn't even know why the fuck he said that. Steven wouldn't even look at him twice now again would he? Blown his chances.

"To be fair you wasn't exactly looking where you was going either..."

"Spose."

"Better get back, said I'd only be gone a few minutes to get some supplies" Steven replied, lifting up his own carrier bag from the cafe maybe?

"Yeah sure, see you around." The tone of Brendan's response came out somewhat more of a question than a statement.

"Yeah, sure you will. Small village this."

Brendan smiled, walking a little distance before Steven's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"I owe you a drink by the way Freddie Mercury!"

Brendan chuckled to himself, fanning his moustache. Cheek of it.

* * *

**Thanks For reading again :) Love you all xx**


	5. Chapter Five

Brendan walked off back to direction of Mitzeee's in a mood he couldn't quite put his finger on. Yes, he was happy. He'd seen the only person he'd ever truly loved after three years of not. Of course he was happy; he looked amazing with no remnants of any accident whatsoever to see. Yet, on the other hand it had brought up all the longing of wanting to be near him again, wanting back what he missed. He wanted Steven all to himself like the old days, whether that be cuddling on the sofa watching a film, going out for a spot to eat or doing certain things in the bedroom. He just wanted Steven and his feelings were getting stronger than he ever thought they would. Ste was oblivious of course, he had just outwardly flirted like he used to, making little comments. Freddie Mercury what was that all about? He'd never called Brendan that, but in a way Brendan liked it. He liked Ste messing around and Brendan couldn't help but laugh to himself. He was sure Steven had offered to buy him a drink as well, a little flash of hope bearing within, wishing this would actually happen, to just be normal even if it was for a little moment in time. Steven would obviously not be buying the drink though, that was Brendan's job. He just had to make sure they wasn't spotted.

* * *

Ste walked home, unable to understand what he was feeling. Did he fancy this man? This man he had known for literally two or three minutes. This man he didn't even know? Truth of the matter was yes. Yes he did, and it somehow didn't feel wrong, he'd even found his moustache attractive which he didn't think he would. He'd invited this stranger out for a drink, a date whatever it was. But he'd invited him out with him. Either way He hadn't actually got a yes or no, but they were obviously staying near eachother since he had popped to the local newsagents, so he figured it wouldn't be too hard to track him down. He'd called him Freddie Mercury which he was quite proud of inside. Since the accident he'd lost some of his confidence. From what Amy had told him, filling in the gaps of his memory, he was never the most outgoing of the pack. He was never the _shy _type but he wasn't the sort of person who would go up to somebody in a bar and openly flirt with them to get his own way. So why the hell was he doing it now in broad day-light? He'd asked the man if he was 'checking him out' How the hell did he even know this man was gay? He decided he wasn't going to tell Amy about this just yet, he knew that she'd be running about choosing his clothes, making sure he was stocked up on the necessities and grilling him about this 'bloke' before he could even get a word in edgeways. As he'd thought before he didn't know whether this man was gay or not. Right now he needed a friend, one who didn't know about his past life and he hoped he'd found one to maybe start a friendship in a new one.

Ste got to the door, and took out the key which Cheryl had loaned to him. He'd made a decision.

"Oh hiya love, did you get everything?" Cheryl asked, looking over her magazine.

"Yeah, Cheryl I need to talk to you actually"

"Oh what is it love?" The worry obviously imbedded in her mind. Had Ste found out about everything? She mentally scalded herself. No, how could he? She'd told the whole village practically to never mention her brother to Ste while he was staying, so that was impossible.

"It's just, being round here. Where I grew up, where Leah and Lucas were born. Where I met you and Amy. It helps you know?"

"With your memory?"

"Well, kind of. Helps me to picture things instead of you telling me. Like the park, Amy telling me that's where Lucas first rode his bike. I couldn't picture it when we wasn't here, but going there the other day, picturing it all. It was like erm... comforting do you get what I mean?"

"Are you hinting you want to stay Ste?" Cheryl smiled, blatently willing him to agree, that yes he would love to stay. She hated living in the flat alone anyway, since Brendan had upped and left she had lived here all by herself and she didn't like it. She liked having Ste and Amy around and the kids, it brightened her day up as sad as it sounded.

"Maybe...If it's okay of course?"

"Course it is love! I'd love you too.. Forever if you wanted" She winked.

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet eh? Few weeks maybe?" Ste mumbled as Cheryl pounced on him, obviously over the moon.

"What's this then?" Amy asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

"Ste asked!"

"About time, or I was gonna have to do it for you."

"Ah so you two planned it then" Ste looked between the two of them, pointing his finger jokingly.

"Maybe..."

"You're the best friends ever you know that?"

"Of course we are, that's why you love us!"

"Hm..."

* * *

Brendan's entrance was a little more.. forceful than Ste's. He'd knocked on Anne's door probably hard enough to break it, which luckily he hadn't. Expense he didn't need.

"Are you trying to knock my door off it's hinges Brendan?" Anne smiled, and then quickly changed her tone noticing Brendan's face. "Ehh.. Brendan what's up? Sit down."

"I saw him." It was barely a whisper, surprising it had actually left his mouth it was that quiet.

"Ste? Did you.. you know.. walk the other way?"

"No."

"You walked up to him?"

"Not technically."

"Brendan talk to me."

"I bumped into him." Brendan turned his head to look at Anne. "Before you make sarcastic comments, I meant literally. I literally bumped into him. And he had no idea who I was."

Brendan broke down, the tears running freely. He was crying, mourning in a way. Mourning something that had gone, something special that he'd cherished. Why had he come back? He didn't expect Steven to notice him, of course he didn't, but it was more hardhitting than he imagined it being.

"Ehh, come here you big softie."

Brendan let Mitzeee keep him in her embrace. He needed it, he felt like a child right now being comforted. After a moment or so, he let himself fall out of her arms.

"He invited me for a drink."

"He what?"

"Well I had a coffee and he knocked it out my hand, and it fell to the floor. So he said he'd replace it. Do I go Anne? Tell me." Brendan sped his words out, without taking a breath.

Mitzeee did however, take a breath, she didn't know how to answer. Did she tell Brendan that he shouldn't go? Because technically he shouldn't. He'd made a promise to Cheryl that he would never come back into Ste's life once he'd left it. She'd gave him the ultimatum.

_"If you walk out that door Brendan that's it. You are never coming back you hear me? Never. You are gonna let Ste live his life and you will NEVER be a part of it ever again. Is that what you want Brendan? Because believe me, I mean it. You've hurt that boy more than words can express, and if you go that's the end of it all. Everything you've done to him, I've forgiven you for it. But not this time. I will never forgive you if you leave when he's DYING in a hospital bed Brendan!"_

She had forgiven him though, she obviously meant if he tried to come back and fuck Ste's life up again, she'd never forgive him. He'd kept that promise for all she knew.

Then Mitzeee thought of the other side of the argument, that Brendan should go. Maybe Ste would fall in love with Brendan all over again, they'd find out new things about eachother that neither knew. Well Ste didn't know anything, but he could learn it all again right? Mitzeee didn't know the right answer. She knew this was Brendan's decision to make."It's up to you. When is it?"

"He er.. he didn't say. I didn't ask."

"Well, he's staying with Cheryl so he can't be that hard to find?"

"You want me to go don't you Miss Minniver?"

Mitzeee nodded. She couldn't contain her excitement any longer. She always thought Brendan and Ste were cute. Even back in the day when she'd caught them apparently saying "goodbye" ending their "relationship" she thought they were the perfect match, and she still did.

"Go get your man Brendan."

* * *

**Hope it was okay :) xx**


	6. Chapter Six

A week. That's how long he hadn't seen Steven for – a whole bloody week. Brendan didn't have a clue how the fuck he'd lasted three years without seeing his face. Torture. He craved the urge to be near him today, to see him, to smell him and he needed to make that happen.

He knew Steven's children and he knew how much they loved the outdoors. They were a little bit like himself as a child; more of the outdoor type that liked to get dirty and play outside than be cooped up inside, bored out of their mind. That's how he knew that if he stayed out here long enough, he would eventually bump into Steven. Brendan knew Amy never took the kids to the park, something about being scared of losing them? It was bullshit obviously, but Steven loved looking after his kids, having a laugh and joke with them so it didn't seem to bother him back in the day when he was lumbered with the job of spending the day with his pride and joy.

That's how he'd found himself here on a park bench with his hood up, a newspaper for company. Brendan thought he must look like a right idiot looking like this, looking like one of the local teenagers you'd do anything to avoid. The teenage stereotype – hood equals trouble. He needed it though. He needed it if there was just a little chance of Amy or Cheryl walking past; that there was something there to hide his identity.

"Lucas don't kick that ball too hard…LUCAS!" And there he was appearing round the back of a tree. Steven.

Brendan placed his newspaper on the bench, he wasn't even reading it anyway truth be told. Waste of money. He picked up the football that had landed at his feet, doing a few 'keepy-uppys' before catching the ball and handing it to Lucas. "Don't hit it as hard next time eh?" Brendan said, kneeling down to Lucas' level. He missed this, he used to be so close to Steven's kids, treated them like his own almost. Deepdown he was worried that Leah would recognise him. She was six when the accident happened, the sort of age that you start to record things in your memory. Would she remember Brendan? Would she remember how some nights, when he'd stay over he'd read her a bedtime story before kissing her on the forehead and tucking her in? He hoped in a way that she didn't, or if she did she wouldn't let these things on to her dad. Lucas on the other hand was only four when the accident happened, so he wasn't too worried about his memories.

* * *

Steven ran after his son, halting when he saw who he was talking to. Him. The man. "Sorry about that. He can be a bit forceful at times."

"It's fine honestly. My boys were the same."

Ste couldn't help but stare. This bloke had kids? Well that seals the deal then. He can't be gay. He's got children. But then something triggered in Ste's mind. So does he.

"Can we play please? Leah hates football, _she's a girl_ and dad's boring."

"What… Lucas! This man's probably got somewhere to be, you can't just ask some rand…"

Brendan cut Ste off, not even letting him finish his sentence. "You know. Girl's can be good at football too. My cousin used to play when she was younger and she's got all these trophies. Do you have a football team?"

Lucas nodded.

"Do you like it?"

Another nod.

"Yeah come on I'll play with you for a bit"

"What?" Ste looked up at Brendan.

"Sure I'll play with him, if you don't want to."

"Oh… Erm okay then. Stay close though, where I can see you."

"I'll try not to hit it at your head…"

"Ste." he replied, taking a breath. Brendan obviously wanted to input a name there but he didn't know it did he?

Brendan looked into Ste's eyes. "Huh?"

"Ste. My name's Ste, we haven't like introduced eachother yet or anything have we?"

_Yes, we have almost six years ago._

"No of course we haven't. I'm Brendan."

"Brendan. Nice to meet you Brendan."

The way his name rolled off Steven's tongue. Brendunnnn. It hadn't change after all of these years of not hearing it. It sounded sexual, enticing. He loved it.

"You too Steven."

"Ste."

"Got a thing about names Steven. I'll try not to aim this ball at your head deal?"

Ste laughed to himself. "Deal."

* * *

Brendan remembered one of his first thoughts as he got out of the taxi seven days ago.

"I need to work out. I wonder if Steven goes there." He needed that gym now and fast. You never know how unfit you are until you are running around after a seven year old boy, trying to get a football off of him. A good player at that. Knackered, tired, sore. That was a few words Brendan would use to describe himself right now. He more or less collapsed on the blanket that Steven was spralled out on, trying to catch some non-exsistant sun rays while Leah drew some pictures in a pad she'd brought with her.

"Take it you don't do that often then." Ste laughed, nodding his head towards Lucas who was now dribbling the ball between jumpers that he'd laid out equally on the floor.

"You take it right." Brendan said between breaths, trying to catch it.

Ste threw him over a bottle of water. "'Ere Are."

Brendan grabbed it, forcing the water down his throat. That's better. He could breathe again. "Thanks."

"Dad can I go on the monkey bars?" Leah asked.

"No. They're dangerous."

"But you always used to let me!" Leah looked towards Brendan. Did she know? Because it was true. He did always to let her. He let her when Steven didn't. Leah remembered didn't she? She remembered Brendan...

"Go and get you and your brother an ice cream..." Brendan shoved a £10 note into Leah's hand, trying to get rid of her before she said anything else. Close call. He didn't want Steven finding out like this, he wanted to be the one to tell him, in his own time.

Leah and Lucas ran off to the ice-cream van, the one with the biggest queue. They'd be gone for a while.

"Steven, I erm..."

"Today was nice weren't it?"

"Huh? What? Yeah. Yeah it was."

"So are you gonna you know... give me your number. So I could text you and invite you for that drink?" It was blatent how shy Ste was. His cheeks were full of embarrassment.

"Depends are you gonna give me yours?"

"Might do."

They both smiled at eachother. It'd be so clear to a passer-by that they fancied eachother, but Ste couldn't see it. He couldn't see in how Brendan's eye's smiled along with his mouth whenever Steven so much as looked at him. Ste ripped a corner piece of Leah's book off the corner - he'd get a bollocking about that later- and wrote down his number before passing another piece to Brendan. Brendan did the same, and then they exchanged.

"I'll be seeing you soon then Brendan yeah?"

"Soon Steven, soon"

Brendan walked off in the opposite direction. The direction to Mitzeee's, the direction of his home for the foreseeable future. He had Steven right where we wanted him, well not right where he wanted him, but close to it. Steven was going to be his again, he was going to make sure of it. There was just a few little barriers to cross first. The truth being one of them.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Just want to say thankyou for everybody that has reviewed so far. Never thought it would get that many readers to be honest. So thankyou :)**

* * *

Ste walked back into the flat somewhat happier than he had been when he previously left it. His smile was proof that something had happened at the park, something that had lifted his spirits.

"Have a nice time kids?" Amy asked, looking at Lucas as she removed his coat.

"Yeah daddy's friend played football with me!"

"Friend?" Amy responded, looking up at Ste with anticipation in her eyes. He didn't want to tell her it was somebody he fancied, somebody he really wanted, there was nothing worse than Amy Barnes interferring in your private life. Ste remembered in the past three years how many dates she'd set him up on. Where the hell all these gay mates of hers come from he had no idea, but none of them worked for him. Sure, he'd found some attractive but he didn't feel the spark or imagine kissing any of them. That's what surprised him when he saw him, he could imagine all of it with him. With Brendan. Brendunnn. Ste already loved his name, the way it rolled off his tongue so easily. Ste had to stop thinking of tongues.

"Hello earth to Ste?" Amy clicked her fingers in front of his face. He'd obviously been day dreaming for god knows how many seconds.

"Huh? What?"

"Okay that's confirmed my suspicions. He's more than a friend."

"Yeah cos I've found myself my dream man within two weeks aint I?"

_I have. I can picture myself actually being with him._

"Why have you never mentioned him?"

"We only met the other day! Then he was at the park, Lucas kicked the ball, it hit him and then he played football with him. What's with the twenty one questions Amy?!"

"God I was only teasing you. Calm down."

"Whatever."

Ste went to his room, sulking if anything. What gave Amy the right to need to know every detail of his life? He didn't ask her every second of the day who she was shagging this week or last. He put his hand in his pocket, clutching his phone and the piece of paper and bringing them out. He wanted to text _him_ but how can you word something like this?

_Today was fun, when can we meet again? x _Too desperate

_So this drink? When can we go? x _Too eager.

Ste resolved for a more casual approach, and to not mention the date at all. He hoped Brendan would start that conversation off.

* * *

_I enjoyed today, hope you did too x_

Brendan laid on the sofa, the smile wouldn't disappear from his face after he'd received that text message. He had enjoyed today. He'd enjoyed Steven, Leah, Lucas the outside world. Everything. To Brendan they felt like what they used to be, a little family unit, on a little family outing. He was of course wary of Leah, she obviously knew something about Brendan and he really hoped she hadn't opened up her fears to her father. But then again if she had why would Steven be texting him now? He'd be furious wouldn't he? He'd be furious that Brendan nearly killed him? Brendan laid there for a good five minutes trying to figure out what to reply to Steven, deleting quite a few drafts in the process.

_Of course I enjoyed it Steven, that's why I'm inviting you out again._

_Are you now? And when would this be? x_

_How's tonight sound?_

_Tonight sounds good, and where are you taking me Brendan? x_

_Town. Meet you at the bus stop at 8?_

_I'll be there. x_

* * *

Ste couldn't contain his excitement. Brendan was taking him out. Out,out like a date. Glancing at his watch he winced, two hours to get ready. He had to have a shower, choose his clothes, put on aftershave, make sure he had money - after all he was paying for these drinks. Ste rushed out of the room, getting to the bottom of the stairs before he heard Amy's voice.

"I'm sorry Ste. I just want you to be happy, that's why. I was happy you might actually fancy somebody cos you spent the day with them and that. I didn't mean it Ste sorry. Forgive me?" Amy asked, flashing Ste a smile.

"Of course I do. Oh and Amy?"

Amy looked up. "Yeah?"

"You was right by the way... about the bloke. I'm going on a date in two hours."

"Oh my god Ste really? Can I choose your clothes, you aren't exactly the best at picking."

"Oh go on then."

* * *

Brendan was never nervous, well not normally, yet tonight he was. It was all because of him. Because of Steven. He resolved it was best to get them out of Hollyoaks, just for tonight. He knew people round here, and it was a friday meaning most of his old villagers would be out enjoying themselves too and probably notice them together. Brendan pulled up at the bus stop in a car he had rented a few days ago, relieved to see Steven standing there glowing as always. He had on a plain black shirt, and black skinny jeans. He looked sexy as hell to be fair.

"Taxi for Steven?" Brendan shouted, as he wound the window down.

"Ah yes that's me. Bar in town please?" Ste smiled, he was obviously as excited as a little kid on christmas day.

"I know the perfect one. Hop in"

* * *

This wasn't normal flirting, but Ste liked how the conversation flowed with them. It was almost as if he'd known Brendan all his life, they got on so well. He felt comfortable in his presence, like it was only them in this room. Ste felt a bit tipsy now, he knew he should stop but this was the first night out he'd had in so long he didn't want it too end. Brendan was on the soft drinks, he'd brought the car of course and he doubted the rental place would appreciate a fucked up car being returned because he'd crashed it. He flinched at the thought.

"Another Steven?"

"Ain't I meant to be buying you a drink Mr Brendan?"

"Another time eh?" Brendan replied, placing his wallet back on the table, touching Steven's shoulder as he passed.

Ste looked down at the wallet. He wanted to pay his way, he didn't like the thought of Brendan paying for everything tonight. This was a date after all and he wanted to go halfs at least. Ste reached into his pocket, grabbing a twenty pound note. That should cover it surely. He opened Brendan's wallet, shocked at what he saw in the window of it. A picture. Why did Brendan have a picture of him? It wasn't even a recent one, this was at least four or five years ago...

"Here we go..." Brendan stopped, looking at Steven's face when he realised what he was staring at. His wallet. His picture of Steven. His favourite picture of Steven. "I can explain Steven. I can exp..."

"Explain what Brendan? Eh? Explain what? How you're some sort of stalker? What you gonna send me into a false sense of security. What are you eh? A murderer? Not like gay blokes do ya? Thought you'd find one then murder them in cold blood? A sex pest? Pervert?! Gonna get your wicked way with me? You're a freak. Why the fuck do you have a picture of me in your wallet? Actually. Don't answer that. I'm going. You're a fucking weirdo. Why did I even trust you?"

Ste ran out of the pub as fast as his legs would let carry him. He could hear Brendan shouting his name, shouting how he could explain. There was no logical explanation to this. He didn't know Brendan, Brendan didn't know him so why would he even have a photo there except for the reasons Ste voiced?

The drink seemed to wear off after that rant. He'd let Brendan around his children! Who does that? The week after meeting somebody, letting them near your kids. Brendan could be anybody, Ste had to make sure he never saw him again. Whatever he did, Brendan was obviously fucked-up in the head.

* * *

**Sorry if you hate me after that. It gets better I promise. Next chapter will explain all what happened. Why Brendan blames himself for what happened to Ste :) Should be up either tomorrow/Sat :) xx**


	8. Chapter Eight

**Next installment of the story. A few of you couldn't believe I'd left it there on the last chapter but you'll understand why once you've read this :)**

**Thankyou again for all of your lovely reviews :) x**

**I have actually wrote a chapter of over 2000 words. *Shocked face***

* * *

It had been a whole month since Brendan last had any contact with Steven. A whole 30 days. No texts, no talk, no nothing. Everything had gone so well on their date/drink/meet-up whatever it was, it was lovely. That was until the moment that Steven had found his photo. The photo that Brendan had cherished and looked at every single day since it was taken. He loved that picture; Steven was smiling perfectly in it, staring at the camera longingly with his blue eyes gazing not only into the lense, but into Brendan's own pools of blue. Brendan daren't have removed it, it reminded him of the one thing he didn't want to lose again. Yet, it seemed he had because Steven had not answered any of Brendan's phone calls or replied to any of his texts.

It hurt Brendan, cut into his heart, the insults Steven had thrown at him. He'd accused him of all sorts. Of plotting to murder him, of taking advantage of him and getting his wicked way. Steven had actually thought Brendan had wanted to hurt him, he hadn't the littlest of clues that Brendan actually wanted to care for him, to cherish him, to have him back in his life after so long.

He didn't even know why he was still here _in Hollyoaks_. He should have gone home weeks ago, nothing was left for him now was it? Sure Mitzeee obviously loved having him around, catching up, but Riley was due back soon and he would probably not appreciate a man hanging around the flat with his girlfriend. Even if that man was _gay_.

* * *

_Steven I can explain. Please give me a chance._

_Answer your phone Steven I only want to talk to you._

_I'm none of those things you said I was Steven. I like you Steven, please talk to me._

_Steven come on please!_

Ste scrolled through his inbox, just as he had for the last month, staring at his screen. Brendan had given up now surely. He hadn't received one in the last few days after being bombarded with hundreds of others. This was harrassment wasn't it? What the hell was there to explain? He'd caught him red-handed, yet he still felt like he wanted to talk to him, to hear his stupid little excuses. To hear him out, just incase there was a logical explanation...

* * *

Brendan awoke with the irritating beep of a phone in his pocket, which he'd been leaning on, therefore the phone was digging in his side as it vibrated. Brendan couldn't believe his eyes when he popped one eye open to see who'd rudely awoken him from his nap.

_**Steven -** You've got ten minutes to explain yourself Brendan. Archway in the village. _

Brendan rubbed both his eyes open, bringing them back to his phone screen. Steven wanted to meet him? Steven wanted to see him? He didn't care what he was wearing right now, he didn't care that he looked like some tramp from the street in his manky old trackies and an old white tshirt. He'd go there naked if he had to, if it meant Steven would see him and let him talk things over. Well, maybe not completely naked...

Brendan grabbed his hoodie from the back of the chair, running over to the door to retreive his trademark flip flops. He didn't care right now that it was fucking freezing in the village. It was the easiest and quickest footwear to put on, which meant he would get to Steven even faster, without delay. Brendan forced the front door open, slamming it behind him and running as fast as he could towards the village. Towards Steven.

* * *

Ste didn't completely understand why he was doing this. Really he should have waited until tomorrow, until it was daylight so if Brendan did try _something_, then other people would be around to help him. The truth of the matter, when it came down to it, was that Ste didn't think Brendan was like that at all. He didn't think Brendan would hurt him, he knew Brendan fancied him and he knew that he fancied him back. After all, sure he'd text and tried to call since the night in town, but he hadn't actually seen Brendan at all, which secretly upset him deep down.

Ste leant on the wall, facing downwards towards the village. He'd text Brendan five minutes ago and he still hadn't turned up, he hadn't even replied to his text. Was he even going to come? Was he even still in Hollyoaks?

It was beautiful up here at night, Ste thought. The village was peaceful, not a sole person around. The shop lights were still lit up, the street lights beaming down onto the floor. It was quiet, well it was until Ste heard somebody swear.

"Fuck!"

Ste laughed to himself, seeing what Brendan had on his feet. Flip-flops. Here Ste was in his jeans, boots, tshirt, jumper, coat and scarf and there Brendan was running in the village, wearing flip-flops and tripping over his own feet. They say opposites attract don't they?

* * *

"Steven..I..." Brendan started, trying to catch his breath.

"Sorry you're late yeah yeah. So what's this truth then? What's this truth I need to know?"

"Can I just..like...get my breath back first?"

Ste turned down towards the village again, seeing people shuffling out the club. Their lives were so simple, so carefree. Getting drunk every night, no responsibilities.

"Steven, look at me a sec please." Brendan pleaded, which Ste obeyed. "Erm."

"Brendan get on with it. I said you had ten minutes. So speak. Why did you have a picture of me in your wallet from all those years ago?"

"Because..." Brendan looked to the floor, how the hell was he meant to word this? Either way he said it Ste was going to hate him wasn't he?

"Because what Brendan? What's the excuse?"

"It's not an excuse Steven, it's the truth."

"Go on, tell me."

"Because we... we knew eachother Steven."

There he'd said it. He'd said it straight to Steven's face. It was out in the open, and Brendan could feel the breath he'd been holding leave his mouth.

"What do you mean we knew eachother Brendan?"

"We knew eachother Steven. We were together, like together, together you know."

"You were my boyfriend?"

"If that's the word you want to use. I used to use better half, but yeah. Boyfriend, partner whatever."

"You were my boyfriend." Steven repeated to himself, looking to the ground shocked. Amy and Cheryl had never told him about this bloke that had apparently nearly killed him. They'd never mentioned a name, a look, shown a photograph, said where he was from. Absoulety nothing. Zilch.

"Steven I need to tell you this okay. Please just listen, don't interrupt. Then if you want to leave afterwards, get on with your life, that's your decision okay? I just need you to know what happened, how everything was my fault. How everything's been eating away at me for the past three years. I nearly killed you. I'm never going to forgive myself I swear. But I just need you to understand, understand how I had to try and make amends. I needed to know you was okay. Alright?"

Ste found himself nodding. This was the man that had nearly killed him, nearly made his children father-less, nearly left Amy alone with two children to support. But somehow he felt calm, contained, ready to listen to Brendan's side of things. Amy had never told him the full truth, whenever Ste had asked questions about the person that done this to him, she'd change the subject, pretend one of the kids had called her, pretend she had an appointment to go to. He figured she would still do that now if he'd ask her. At least this way, Ste could get Brendan's side of the story and then maybe open up to Amy and Cheryl later and see her side. She'd have to answer then.

"We were at home, and we'd argued. I don't even know what about now and you'd rushed out the house to go and pick the kids up..."

"We.. we lived together?"

"Yeah. Hey I thought you said you wouldn't interrupt?"

"Sorry."

"I tried to call you Steven, I wanted to sort things out you know? I hate leaving on arguments, it aint right. You wouldn't answer your phone though, you were always careful on the road, you didn't want to get caught by the police, driving on the phone. But I kept at it Steven, I just needed to talk to you, I wanted to make everything alright, I kept calling and texting and calling and texting. In the end you got fed up of it and answered my phone call, and that's when..."

Brendan began to break down. He'd never cried in front of Steven in their whole relationship, it somehow made him feel weak, useless. He was meant to be the strong one in this conversation. If anything Steven should be the one getting upset, having to hear what happened to him, probably for the first time.

"When what Brendan? When what?"

"The van it hit you... head on. It hit you Steven."

Ste moved closer towards Brendan, making the gap even smaller. He wanted to reach out, to hold him in his arms. Tell him everything was okay, except he couldn't. There was an imaginary barrier infront of him, not allowing him to. If Brendan wanted everything to be okay, that much, then where had he gone?

"Go on..." Ste prompted, he could tell there was more Brendan wanted to say, to let out.

"I sat with you for days Steven, days trying to make you wake up. I just wanted to apologise to you, tell you how sorry I was, how I didn't mean to do it. But you didn't, you didn't wake up. They told us you might die, and even if you didn't that you might have brain damage. I couldn't face that Steven, I had to let you free. I know it was selfish, but I wanted to have our memories together, keep those ones. That's why I left, you needed to start a new life without me. Start fresh."

Ste moved closer now, Brendan's tears were falling even heavier, not stopping at all. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a tissue. He'd used enough in the last month to last a lifetime, so always had them spare. He passed it to Brendan, letting a little smile fall to his lips.

Brendan reciprocated the grin, taking the tissue. "Thankyou Steven, shouldn't you be the one crying eh?"

Ste shook his head. He believed every word Brendan had just said, nobody could fake that much emotion surely. It was raw, so fresh on Brendan's face, almost as if he was reliving in the whole thing in his mind.

"Thanks Brendan."

"What for?"

"The truth."

"Just had to tell you, you know. Balls in your court now. I'll just.." Brendan pointed to the stairs, descending to the village. "See you around?"

Ste nodded, watching Brendan walk away...

"Wait." He called. "Brendan wait."

Brendan turned around to face Ste, who was now walking towards him at the top of the stairs. Ste touched Brendan's cheek, which he melted at the touch, the contact.

"Thankyou Brendan." Ste muttered, before placing his lips to Brendan's, pulling away looking into his eyes, before going back for more, deepening the kiss, letting his tongue roam inside.

* * *

"Steven I.."

"Shh." Ste whispered, placing his finger on Brendan's lips. "It wasn't your fault Brendan. I wasn't your fault okay? I believe you."

He believed him? He believed him? Brendan wanted to tell Ste how he still loved him and how he had never actually stopped this thing he felt for him. But he thought he'd better save that for the next date, because he sure as hell hoped that Ste would accept his next invitation.

* * *

**Wow that was a long chapter for me. Hope it lived up to expectations etc etc :)**


	9. Chapter Nine

**Hi, sorry I haven't updated in a few days. Been a busy bee with all the snow and talking to Kieron[Ste] on his radioshow on Sunday. Yes, I actually talked to him. I was shaking a tad. Anyway here's the quick update, enjoy :)**

* * *

Ste felt safe in Brendan's grasp, his arms. He may have, in his head, only known him for a little while but now it was all making sense why he felt so comfortable with him all of a sudden. It was almost like he'd reverted back to a previous life, a life were he obviously was happy and enjoying it.

He'd took Brendan back home after the kiss, well Cheryl's, sneaking him in his bedroom before either woman noticed they had more company than they thought. Brendan didn't even know why he agreed to go back, but then there was no way on earth he was going to pass up the oppurtunity to be close to his boy, his love.

Ste nuzzled his head closer to Brendan's shoulder, kissing it before settling his head back down. They hadn't even done _anything_, it was just the closeness that both craved.

"Tell me something about us?" Ste prompted, anything. He didn't care he just wanted to know something that they used to do together, that neither Amy nor Cheryl would have told him before.

"Like what?"

"Anything. Just something I don't know."

Brendan thought long and hard. He didn't want to tell something too personal, like the acts they used to get up to in bed, that would be the worst thing to do right now when in Steven's head he hadn't even done any of that yet, well not that he remembered.

"There was this one time you were like drunk and I mean pissed out of your brains. I had to carry you out the pub, over my shoulder. The looks I got seriously Steven, so fucking embarrassing.. Never again."

Ste started to laugh, managing to choke on his own spit. Brendan didn't find it as hilarious as Ste did, but then again this was a part of his life he couldn't remember. It was probably comforting to the boy in a way, learning stuff about yourself that you never knew.

A creek made Brendan jump, coming from outside the door.

"Ste are you alright in there?"

"Steven get in the wardrobe..."

Ste gave him a disaproving look. "This is my room Brendan?" Ste whispered, obviously a little confused.

"Course it is." Brendan quickly got up from the bed, darting in the wardrobe and pulling the door to. There was hardly any space in here, boy always did love his clothes...

"Yeah..yeah I'm fine Amy.."

Amy didn't even have the decency to leave it there, to go back to her bed seen as it was at least three in the morning, maybe even more. She pushed open the door, staring at Ste, then at the bed.

"Just coughing fit Ames. I'm fine seriously, go back to bed."

"Sure?"

"Sure. Goodnight."

Amy walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Brendan waited a little longer, until he knew she had definately gone, definately settled back into her bed. He couldn't help but smile seeing how amusing Steven found this whole situation. Neither really wanted to break the news just yet. For very different reasons. Brendan, for how Cheryl had treated him back in the day; Ste didn't know this though. Didn't even know they was related truth be told. Ste didn't want them knowing just yet either, after all both had effectively lied to him. They'd both lied to his face about how this ex-boyfriend of his had nearly killed him. They'd never told him how though, how it was a car crash that his 'boyfriend' basically had nothing to do with. Ste didnt _have to answer_ the phone call after all.

"Gonna come back to bed then?"

Brendan didn't even need to answer, just lowered himself back onto the bed, putting him arm around Ste's shoulder.

"What was that all about then hm?"

"What?" Brendan replied.

"Saying I should go in the wardrobe? All this gone to your head already?"

Brendan scoffed a laugh. No more secrets. No more lies.

"I used to make you hide in there."

Ste seemed confused, therefore Brendan elaborated. "We both weren't you know. Out as such. So we'd sneak about and stuff. Steven do we have to talk about this now?" Brendan huffed. He didn't want to get into all the secrets they used to keep, faffing around so nobody knew about them. Another time maybe but not now.

"No course not. You staying?"

"For a bit." Brendan replied, kissing Steven and letting him snuggle close.

* * *

Ste woke up the next morning, sunlight glazing through the window where he'd failed to pull the curtains last night. He failed to do anything last night really except fall asleep in Brendan's arms.

_Brendan._

Ste turned to the other side of the bed, seeming a little disapointed realising he wasn't there. He didn't expect him to be, yet his sad face obviously wasn't told that. Ste dragged himself out of bed, walking groggily to the kitchen, flicking on the kettle. He turned back towards the living area to flick the TV on, see what shit there was to watch today. Same old routine. He got the fright of his life though seeing someone sitting on the sofa.

"Daddy!"

"Leah..err.. Why aint you at school?

"Don't feel well. Mummy said I could have the day off."

"Come here princess." Ste lifted her up, laying himself down on the sofa and placing her on top of him, laying on his chest.

"Is your boyfriend coming round today?"

"He's not my boyfriend Leah."

"Oh. Is he coming round though?"

"No."

"Why not? He played football with Lucas I wanna brush his hair, not the head though. His face!" She gestured to her top lip.

* * *

"What's this?"

Cheryl pretended she hadn't heard. She had though. Two words sticking out. Boyfriend. Hair. Moustache?

"Oh nothing Cheryl. Can you make us a brew please? Kinda got a ill child on me."

"Of course love. Tea, three sugars coming right up."

Cheryl managed to make the tea, passing it to Ste. "Just got a phone call to make love, I'll be upstairs." she smiled.

* * *

"Brendan would you like to explain to me why the hell that phone call had no international ringtone?"

"Away on buisness Chez."

"Buisness. That's what they call it these days."

"Yes. Buisness in London Cheryl.."

"I don't believe you. You were threatening me for his phone number earlier this month and now all of a sudden he's got a boyfriend..."

"Another one?"

"What?"

"Another boyfriend. Not made this one up?"

"Shut up Brendan. I swear if you're in Hollyoaks."

"London Chez. Gotta go bye."

* * *

Cheryl was still fuming. She didn't believe Brendan in the slightest, she needed to dig futher. Further with Ste.

"Sort your phone call out alright?"

"Oh yeah, yeah. So what you up to today then?"

"Sit in here I suppose. Catch a cold from this one, the usual."

Leah interrupted. "He won't let his boyfriend come round though!"

"Ooo boyfriend Ste. Do tell."

"It's early day's Cheryl." He nearly laughed at his own joke then, it was far from early days.

"And has this boyfriend got a name? What's he look like? Where's he from?"

"I don't wanna get my hopes up."

"Something that's all, then I'll make us some breakfast."

"Promise?"

Cheryl nodded.

"Ireland, like you. That's all your getting" Ste pretended to zip his lips closed. He probably shouldn't have said what he did. Cheryl and Amy knew this bloke, but then again there's loads of Irish blokes. They didn't necessarily know this was Brendan.

* * *

"Brendan."

"What now Chez? On the way to my meeting."

"You stay away from that boy, or I swear."

"What boy?"

"Brendan, you're my brother. I know when you're lying. And you're lying."

"Chez leave it."

"I swear, leave him alone or I'll tell him who you really are."

"He already knows Chez. I told him last night. Can I go now? Something I need to do. See ya."

* * *

**Just to let you know I don't have a clue if you get an international ringtone from England-Dublin. Fits with this though. So let's pretend :)**

**Please review x**


	10. Chapter Ten

**Sorry but how amazing was that episode tonight?! Full of fluff, yet it was still not overly soppy. Brendan and the orange I nearly died. Anyway here's my next update. Major Stendan feels right now...**

* * *

It had been two weeks since he'd last seen Steven. He'd had to go back over to Ireland, seen as the staff he'd hired in his new established bar couldn't even sort out a handyman to fix the leaky roof. He was the manager after all, had responsibilities, so he couldn't exactly moan about it when fucking Ronan called begging for him to return. He thought it would be nice to see Dec and Paddy as well seen as he'd left them now for over a month. He warned Dec about no parties or girls in the house; yet somehow he knew now was no way that promise was kept. Brendan was a seventeen year old once himself, a seventeen year old that had just got his girlfriend pregnant, he knew kids never listened to their parents, especially when the particular parent they reside with has a sea between their space.

Him and Steven, they'd kept in contact since, phone calls, texts, late night Skype chats. He loved hearing Steven's voice, but there was something about seeing his face on the computer screen that made him just that little bit more content, seeing he was safe and well. He'd made Steven wear headphones when they'd chatted. He'd somehow got Cheryl off of his back, fuck knows how, deep down he felt like he knew she didn't believe this 'buisness trip' crap, but she'd said no more on the subject, and Ste never mentioned it, so gathered she'd said nothing to him either. Still better to be safe, so headphones were always a must. Cheryl would notice his voice anywhere.

* * *

Brendan had been back in Hollyoaks three days now, and still hadn't seen Steven. He wanted the first time they'd see eachother to be special, something Ste would remember. Then it came to Brendan. A first date, like a proper first date, not the pub or park shit they'd done already. A proper meal, somewhere to talk things through, get to know eachother again. Brendan didn't exactly do 'dates' as such, never has really, not even when he was _apparently_ a loved up husband with a gorgeous wife. He never took her out for dinner, brought her flowers, surprised her at all. Yet, with Steven he felt like he wanted all of that; he wanted to surprise him. _Make him be in love with him again. _He just had to work out_ how._

* * *

_What you doing tonight?_

_Nuffin why? Surprising me? ;) x_

_Thought you might want to go out somewhere?_

_Brendan are u back? x_

_Yep. 8 o'clock?_

_Looking forward to it ;) x_

It always amused Brendan how their text conversations went. They were flirty, yet not disgustingly filthy. Steven always had to include little winks and kisses, suggestive comments, you name it. They still hadn't even so much as touched eachother, yet reading through their texts you would have other ideas. Brendan was prepared to wait for Steven though, after all he'd waited this long what's a few more weeks?

* * *

He'd picked Steven up, usual place a little before eight o'clock. Well quarter to and Steven was already there, which proved how much both of them were looking forward to it. Who's early for a date? Standing outside in the freezing cold? _Exactly._

They'd been shown to there seats, right by the window, some sort of view, something to talk about and bring up in conversation if it ever died. Brendan had chose this restaurant because little had Steven known but it was one Brendan had taken him to before. He remembered it fondly. Brendan insisting Steven have the steak, the fish wasn't good. But Steven, being Steven had refused, he had soon regretted it though. Brendan had been here loads of times in the past. The fish was shit; the other food though sublime.

Steven sat there, menu nearly as big as him, peering over it every now and then to get a little look at Brendan, a sneaky one, everyone Brendan had reciprocated. Brendan knew exactly what he was going to have, didn't even know why he was bothering to even look at the menu really but heyho.

"What you having Brendan?" Steven asked, putting the menu down in a huff. "There's too much to chose from. There's the steak... then there's the fish..."

"No fish Steven.."

"What? Why not? Is it crap?"

"Yeah, was quite sick when I had it last time." He wasn't, but he didn't want Steven to be.

"Oh steak it is then. You having steak too?"

"Yeah. I like my meat Steven."

Ste looked over to him, obviously understanding the double meaning, due to his red cheeks. Then letting a smile fall to his lips. "You're disgusting."

"Yep, people tell me that all the time."

* * *

Their food had come, a whole plate of steak, chips and vegetables. It was hardly up market cuisine, but Steven seemed to be enjoying his as much as Brendan was. Well, Brendan had wolfed his down like a trooper. He enjoyed his grub, lapped up every last bit of it. Ste was only half way through his meal.

"You always eat like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like someone that hasn't eaten for weeks."

"You liked my eating ways."

"God what did I see in you?" Ste winked, just to show he was joking.

"So... tell me something about yourself?" Ste prompted. This was awkward Brendan thought, he knew everything about Ste, he was 26, he was 5 ft 9 inches, he wore 32 inch waist trousers, he knew all about his past relationships, his whole life more or less.

"Erm. I'm Brendan Brady, I'm thirty-six, I'm Irish."

"Brady?"

"Yeah why?"

Then it hit Brendan. He'd never actually told Ste that he was Cheryl's brother had he? He couldn't even read Ste's face. Was he shocked? Annoyed? Pissed off to the max?

"I didn't know you were relat..."

"Yeah I'm related to Chez, I'm her brother. Sorry I didn't tell you Steven, I didn't ever get round to it. Are you.. are you mad at me?"

"No, just shocked I suppose. So that bed I'm sleeping in was that...?"

He didn't even need to finish his sentence, Brendan half didn't even want him to. Was that were we'd slept together? Consumated this 'thing' we had?

"Yeah, my bed. It was my bed, my wardrobe..."

"Oh. So erm tell me about Ireland?"

"Not much to tell really. Ireland's just Ireland. Grew up in Dublin, met my ex-wife had two boys. Declan is seventeen now, Paddy's fourteen. Declan lives with me now, nearer to his school and that. Paddy's still with his Ma. I'm glad Leah and Lucas seem okay. I've missed their little faces."

Ste face always lit up when his kids were mentioned, you could tell they were his world, everything revolved around them. Everything he did, he'd think about if it would effect them at all, and if it did then he wouldn't do it. He loved the bones of them.

"Yeah. I knew Leah recognised you that day."

"What day? Oh the park?"

"Mhm."

"Yeah she looked at me funny, little madam. Can tell who her father is. Sassy."

"Oi who you calling sassy?"

"You. Anymore questions you wanna ask me? I'm all yours."

"I'll think of some, can I finish my food first?"

* * *

"I've got a question for you!"

"Fire away."

"How long was we together?"

Talk about get the hardest question out of the way. How long was they together? Brendan didn't even know. Should he count the time when they wasn't exactly _together? _The times Brendan was insisting he wasn't attracted to men, eyeing up the local model instead? Where did there relationship even start? He resolved that he was just going to count it all, he'd more or less loved Steven since he'd set his eyes on him anyway."

"Two, three years."

"I wasn't expecting that. Was expecting a few months or a year."

Brendan sighed. It was a few months to a year really, that was when they'd properly got together, moved in together, planned their family holiday.

Ste interrupted his silent thoughts. "So where did we meet?"

"You worked for me, Chez nightclub?"

"Oh right yeah, she said I used to work there, so what did we used to go sneak into the cellar or the office at lunch?"

"Jesus Steven, do we need to get into this now?!" Brendan blurted out, chucking Steven the dessert meal. "Get something sweet to stop these thoughts."

Brendan needed to stop these thoughts as well, man had needs and the way this was going Brendan was near to wanting to satisfy them with Ste. Didn't want to push the boy though.

* * *

Both decided on no dessert, just another drink at the table while waiting to leave.

It was silent for what seemed like forever, Brendan was debating whether to bring up the topic of the view...

"What was my favourite song then?"

"Girl's Aloud."

"What one?"

"Oo or something."

"Oh. I dunno it? Sing it for me."

"Steven I'm not singing a fucking Girls Aloud song in a restaurant."

"Oh go on, nobody's listening."

"You are..."

"Yeah well. Oh go on Brendan. For me."

Why the actual hell does this both have the most gorgeous, long eyelashes? They flutter, Brendan accepts. That's how it used to work, and if he carried on it was going to again.

"No Stev.."

"Please!"

"Fine! Fine! I don't even know the words!"

Brendan started humming every now and then coming out with "something kinda ooh", "tutu".

"Oh wait, I do know that one!"

"You've just made me sing that, and you knew what it was all along?"

"Maybe."

"Jesus, that's why I love ya I suppose."

Brendan stopped, realising what he'd just released from his mouth. _Love ya. Love you_. He'd promised himself he wouldn't utter those words yet, not again, not until Steven felt a little more comfortable in his presence, not until Steven had said he'd loved him.

"Another drink?" Ste obviously felt the awkwardness aswell, halting the silence. He hadn't said it back though. He didn't love Brendan yet.

"Err.. yeah. Just gonna go.. yeah.." Brendan couldn't even talk, just pointed to the men's toilets.

* * *

He'd stayed in the toilets for a good ten minutes, learning up against the mirror on the far side of the wall, mentally punching himself for even saying the L word. He had to get out of here though, he didn't want Steven to think he'd bailed on him, gone home and left him to fend for himself to get back.

Brendan opened the door, spotting Steven starring, he'd obviously wondered where Brendan had got to, why it had taken him so long. Ste got up.

"I paid the bill, let's get out of here."

"But I invi..."

"I know you invited me, but you paid for the drinks last time remember?"

"Mhm."

"I don't care by the way Brendan."

"What?"

"I don't care that you still love me."

Brendan looked up at Ste, concern in his face.

"No, I don't mean I don't ca... I mean like I don't mind that you still love me. I like it, gets me used to stuff you know."

"Used to stuff?"

"I'm gonna tell Cheryl and Amy tonight."

"No.."

"I want to. So you coming?" Ste started to walk off, hand stretched hoping Brendan would take it, which he did. He didn't even used to hold his hand back in the day, so this was all new. Nice though.

* * *

They'd had to park the car down the street, no spaces anywhere else so it was a good five, ten minute walk.

"You cold?" Brendan asked.

"Bit."

Brendan removed his coat, pushing Ste's hand away as he'd refused to take it.

"I want to, I want to look after you."

"Have others looked after you?" Ste asked, unsure what he even meant by it.

"What you mean other lads?"

Ste found himself nodding.

"Nobody ever comes close to you Steven, never." Brendan replied, stopping at the side street, meeting Ste's lips and pushing him up against the wall. "I love you Steven Hay."

Ste smiled into the kiss, breaking away for a minute. "I know you do. _Brendunnn Bradehhh_."

* * *

**Long ass chapter sorry :)**

**I just wanted some cute things LOL!**

**[The amount of times I wrote Emmett in this chapter and not Brendan, sorry if there's any Emmett's lurking, message me and I'll change them. I'm obsessed with the bloke...]**


	11. Chapter Eleven

Hi! Sorry I haven't updated this story in a while, wasn't really sure where I was going with it. But here's the next installment

Enjoy :) xx

* * *

Brendan had held Ste's hand the whole way back to the flat, surprisingly. He still didn't really know how Amy and Cheryl were going to react. In the past Amy didn't like him, hated him really but towards the end, moving in together starting a new life she seemed to accept it was alright. She never fully trusted Brendan, but she knew Ste was happy and Brendan was the reason for this. Cheryl was ecstatic they'd finally made their relationship public, cemented everything into place. Then all of that changed when the accident occured, both swearing that if Brendan left Ste now that was it. He was never going to return. He obviously had though, and that's why Brendan was anxious as Ste knocked on the door.

Brendan sighed, looking at Ste again. "Are you sure you want..."

Too late. The door had opened. Amy.

She stood there, mouth gaped open. She was speechless, unable to form any kinda of understandable sentence. "Are you..Errr...What the..?"

"Hiya." Ste smiled at her, pushing his way in, still holding Brendan's hand.

"Don't give me _hiya_ Ste. Do you know who that is?"

"Yep his names Brendan."

"Well I know that..." She replied sarcasticly.

"And his my boyfriend."

Brendan looked down at Steven. He couldn't help but let out a little laugh. He didn't think Ste referring to him as that would tug at his heart as much as it did.

"Look Amy, I didn't mean for this to happen..." Brendan started before Amy interrupted his declaration.

"Oh trust me you did. You rang Cheryl, heard Ste's voice on the phone. Then you thought you'd come here and fuck with his head again. Get out."

"What? Amy he isn't going."

"Oh yes he is. Get the fuck out Brendan." Amy shouted, pushing Brendan out of the door before he got a chance to fight back, slamming it in his face.

Ste barged her out of the way, opening the door himself, closing it behind him.

Ste saw Brendan descending the stairs, leading the way to the village. "Brendan wait!"

Brendan turned round, seeing Ste smirking at him. He walked back towards the lad, taking his hand in his and fiddling with his fingers. "I'm sorry Steven."

"What for?"

"Everything."

"Is this about Amy? Honestly, forget her. I'll talk to her okay? I'm not gonna let her ruin this." Ste cupped Brendan's cheek in his hand before kissing him quickly. "You sure you don't wanna stay?"

"Don't tempt me Steven." Brendan laughed.

He wanted to stay of course he did, if Amy or Cheryl wasn't around he probably would again, but something stopped him. He knew that if this was a real first relationship sort of thing it would be deemed they were moving too fast. Brendan was already imagining a second chance at a future, going on holidays together, whereas in Ste's mind they'd only been together a matter of weeks.

"I'll text you later." Ste murmured.

"Better keep my phone by my side then eh?"

"You do that Brendan." Ste whispered, before kissing him again, this time with much more force.

* * *

Brendan took a slow walk home, remembering how successful tonight was. He may have slipped up telling Ste he loved him, but that soon got resolved. Ste didn't care that Brendan loved him. He wasn't in a position to tell Brendan he loved him back, but Brendan could at least see it in his eyes that he _liked_ him just a little.

Brendan reached into his pocket for the key Anne had let him borrow, putting it into the lock. He shut the door behind him, putting on the living area light and dimming it a little. Walking over to the sink, filling a glass with water he noticed a note left out for him.

_Hope you had a enjoyable night with lover-boy. Me and Riley are off out to a mate's birthday in Manchester tomorrow. House is free if you wanted to invite him over. Not coming home, just don't use my bed. X_

Brendan let out a chuckle. He always did love Anne, almost like a second sister. The thought of using the bed where her and Riley.. No... Out of the question. Anyway, he wasn't going to take advantage of Steven that way. If Steven wanted to, then yeah of course he'd sleep with him, but Brendan wasn't going to be the one that initiated it. It was Ste's choice ultimately. Brendan didn't expect anything from him.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Brendan was lying in bed when he reached for his phone. He scalded himself for missing Steven after seeing him only moments earlier. He just wanted to be near him 24/7 like he used to be. He texted him.

_Hey. Is everything okay?_

_Amy's still pissed off but she'll live. What you up to? X_

_Just lying in bed you?_

_Same. What you thinking of?_

_How much I enjoyed tonight. You?_

_I'm thinking of you Brendan..._

**Oh shit. Now I've got these thoughts running through my mind of Steven... Oh god...**

_I'm that irresistable eh? My flat-mate's out tomorrow night. Fancy a night in? I promise I won't cook._

_I'm learning things about you, how much you love yourself. Sounds good, why what's wrong with your cooking?_

_I'll probably poison you..._

_Take away it is then. Shall I get a film?_

_As long as your favourite film has changed then yes._

_It's Dirty Dancing?_

_Nope, hasn't changed. Can certainly tell you're gay Steven._

_Shut it you. I'm going to sleep now. See you tomorrow. Night xxxx_

_Night Steven x_

He wanted to tell him he loved him again, but decided against it. Tonight had been perfect, everything a first date should be like. He'd go to sleep happy, excited for what tomorrow would bring even if he did have to sit there and watch the one film he depised.

* * *

**Review please xx**


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Next part for my readers :) Enjoy xx**

**[Daisy forced me to write this tonight ;)]**

**ETA: A few reviews have asked me to change this fic to an M. I can't ,I apologise. I wish I could write those sorts of moments but seriously, it's just too cringy I just can't. So use your imagination again ;) x**

* * *

Brendan woke up early, he didn't even know why. He'd always loved his sleep so getting only five hours of it wasn't top of his wishes. He threw on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and strolled into the living area yawning, stretching out his arms.

"Morning sleepyhead" Mitzeee said, handing Brendan a cup of tea.

"Thanks." Brendan took the cup and sat down on the sofa, putting his feet up on the table. He felt at home now living with Mitzeee and Riley. Sometimes he felt like he'd out stayed his welcome though, that really if he did want to stay in Chester he should find his own flat even if that meant being alone. Declan had gone back to his mam's now, as much as he hated there. Brendan more or less forced him though, seventeen year old boy's should not permanently live by themselves as much as they wanted to.

"So how did last night go then? Did you get my note?" Anne asked.

"Yeah it was erm..." Brendan couldn't help but smile, making sure he hid behind his hand so his teeth-showing grin wasn't that obvious. He couldn't really put a word to the evening. Perfect. Amazing. The best day ever?

"That good eh?" She replied, obviously noticing his grin. "Surprised you came home actually."

"Yeah, well he's coming tonight isn't he? If that's still alright?" Brendan checked cautiously. He didn't want to tell Anne how he wanted to wait for Steven to be ready to have sex with him again, didn't want to rush anything. Brendan always felt like men had a reputation to uplive. Who waits weeks on end to sleep with somebody now-a-days?

"Course it's alright. What you cooking?"

"I'm cooking a takeaway."

"A what? Brendan you can't get a bloody take away."

"Why not?"

"Just because! It's gotta be special. Home-cooked meal, candle-lit room, music on."

"Anne I'm not a woman."

"He's got to feel special Brendan. We're cooking end of."

"We?"

"Yeah I'll help. Go get the ingredients now."

Brendan went to talk, argue, say she didn't need to but she put up her hand to silence him. "No buts. Do it Brendan."

* * *

Half an hour later and Brendan had been to the shop and got all of the ingredients that he needed to make Steven's one of his favourites. Lasagne.

"So what we cooking?" Anne asked.

"Lasagne."

"God I love your accent Brendan." Anne teased. She'd never stopped flirting jokingly with Brendan, even if he did prefer men.

"Who wouldn't? Irish charm and all that. Right you sure you don't mind helping? I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing."

"Course I don't. I'll guide, you can create."

"Great." Brendan moaned, just as Brendan threw him her apron. One with a naked man on. Attractive.

* * *

Anne's kitchen was weirdly spotless. She'd helped Brendan prepare it earlier on in the day and all he had to do was put the lasagne in the oven and lay the table. Yet, somehow he'd actually managed to keep it clean and not spill anything. First for everything.

Steven was due any moment, the lasagne had fifteen minutes left to cook, drinks were on the table, candles were lit. Brendan looked around the room, making sure everything was in place, the cushions were plumped, the sofa was clean. He mentally punished himself for being so over the top about it all. Steven would love it.

* * *

Ste knocked on the door, he felt nervous for some reason. He wanted to take things to the next level with Brendan, but he was still scared. What if it hurt? What if he wanted to stop? What if he got embarrassed? These thoughts left his mind when Brendan opened the door smiling directly at him.

"Hi." Brendan said, stepping out of the way for Ste to walk in beside him.

"Hi." Steven replied.

Both were nervous for a moment, not knowing whether to give eachother a kiss. They'd only seen eachother the night before, but both didn't know what to do. Ste moved further into Mitzeee's flat and Brendan turned round to close the door behind him.

"I brought us some menu's. Wasn't sure what you fancied."

"You" Brendan muttered under his breath.

"Huh?" Ste replied.

"Nothing. I cooked anyway. You like lasagne right?"

"Love it." Ste beamed. "One of my favourites actually."

"I know."

Ste laughed, it still felt weird to him how Brendan knew so much about him. "I brought the DVD aswell, if you wanna watch it later."

"Sounds good." Brendan replied. He noticed Ste not really knowing where to seat himself, fiddling with the menu's and the DVD. Brendan walked over to him, taking his face in his hands and kissing him gently on the lips. "Forgot to greet you properly. Take a seat."

Ste still couldn't believe how lovely Brendan was, his boyfriend was. He still had to pinch himself that he actually had a boyfriend. Brendan pulled the chair out for Ste to allow him more room to sit down.

"Thankyou." Ste smiled.

"No problem. Think the food's ready now. I'll dish up."

"Okay." Ste said, watching Brendan's arse as he walked over to the oven. "Smells nice."

* * *

Brendan finished his food first of course, Ste had quickly learnt how Brendan literally savaged his food and didn't put any to waste. Ste couldn't eat all of his, never really was one for big portion sizes.

"That were proper nice Bren."

"New pet name eh? Bren."

"I like it. Suits you."

"Yeah well I'm not calling you Ste so..."

"Don't want ya to."

"Better wash these up then" Brendan stood up, going to grab Ste's plate.

"Do you have to do that now? Can't we wait the film first?"

"Fine. I'll put them in the kitchen though, you set the film up."

Brendan walked to the kitchen and placed the plates on the counter top, then walked back into the living area, settling down on the sofa, placing his feet on the table. Ste sat down next to him, too far away for Brendan's liking but he didn't say anything, didn't want to instigate anything Ste didn't feel comfortable with. This whole new relationship was new to him of course.

* * *

About twenty minutes into the film and Brendan wasn't enjoying it. He never liked this film, even back in the day when Ste had made him watch it in exchange for some 'naughtiness.'

Ste shuffled closer to Brendan, looking up into his big eyes. "You can you know, put your arm around me or something... You ain't enjoying this are you?"

Brendan placed his arm around Ste's shoulders, pulling him in so his head was rested on Brendan. "It's alright."

"Brendan don't lie you hate this film." Ste bit back, grabbing the remote to turn the TV monitor off.

Ste wasn't really getting into it either. He felt like he wanted to seduce Brendan, feel close to him. He trusted him, of course he did, they'd been together before, in somewhat of a past life and Brendan had opened up to him about his feelings in the meantime.

He felt like a scared virgin though, wanting so badly to make love to the person you _liked _but feeling like you was going to be a let down. Ste knew Brendan wouldn't judge him deep down - but what if Brendan compared him to the old Ste, the more experienced Ste who obviously had sex more often. Ste hadn't slept with anybody since the accident; he knew it would hurt. But when it came down to it, he wanted Brendan, Brendan wanted him. What was there to lose?

"I..." Brendan started to talk, but Ste put a finger up against his mouth to silence him, then looked down to his shirt and started to undo the buttons slowly, seductively, smiling as he did.

"Steven you don't need to."

"I want to..."

"I can wait for you, I don't expec..." Brendan was cut off against, with Ste thrashing their lips together, forcing Brendan's mouth to open wider so their tongues could start to play. Brendan was forced down into a lying position on the sofa and Ste straddled him. Brendan looked up, seeing the lust present in Ste's blue eyes...

* * *

Sweat was dripping off both of their bodies, Brendan was laid out on the floor, Ste next to him.

"That was amazing." Ste said, out of breath almost.

"You're amazing." Brendan smiled back, claiming Ste's mouth again.

"So are you." Ste whispered into the kiss. He knew he was falling for Brendan big time, could actually picture them building a proper future together again, but he didn't want to talk about that just now, he wanted to savour this moment. Just him and Brendan, post coital and memorise it.

"Was it worth the wait?" Brendan cheekily asked.

"A hundred percent." Ste grinned back. "Better get cleaned up eh?"

Brendan stood up shaking his head. He never did like to clean up after sex, preferred the thought of showering it off together in the morning. He reached down for Ste's hand. They didn't even bother to grab their clothes, and strolled into 'Brendan's room.' It was only a single bed, but in a way Brendan liked it, it allowed them to be even closer. To allow him to feel the boy's body even nearer, and feel his breath on him as he fell into a deep sleep.

Brendan looked down at Ste, hand pressed onto Brendan's chest. He lent down, pressing a soft kiss to the sleeping boy's temple. "Love ye Steven."

He didn't realise it but Ste wasn't even in a deep sleep at all, and a smile formed at his lips.

* * *

**Review please :) x**


	13. Chapter Thirteen- Epilogue

**Hey everybody! Sorry I've took weeks to update this again, I got writer's block and truth be told, I still have. All these spoilers floating about, the end becoming nearer I literally don't know where to go with this story anymore. I was speaking to my twitter friends and Ella has come up with the idea of a epilogue, which I liked the thought of, so here it is.**

**There's been alot of talk if people will still write fanfiction when the end of Brendan occurs and I'm one of those people that say I hope I will, but I'm probably just going to do one-shots incase writer's block happens again! **

**Anyway here's to the end of a 13 chapter fic! Thankyou everyone for your reviews - never expected to get so many readers!**

* * *

Brendan is nervous, probably just as nervous as he's been around Steven for the last two years, constantly walking on egg-shells and not wanting stupid little arguments that could force Steven to re-think his idea to be fully with him again. He is scared; scared that Ste will bring up the past and think Brendan did cause his accident, and that Brendan did cause him to lose out the first six years of his children's lives.

Today is the day Brendan is going to do the one thing he never thought he would. The one thing that will change his outlook on life for good. The one thing that will actually secure Steven actually being _his_ again. Forever.

* * *

It's New Year's Eve. The one day Brendan has always hated before Steven came into his life.

New beginnings. Drunk bastards. One-night stands. Hangovers. Dodgy club-goes.

He's seen them all, yet tonight is different. Tonight he is sat nursing his drink, chatting away to Cheryl's husband Nate. They both look towards the dancefloor laughing at how drunk their extended family is, noting that they are definately going to have to help them home tonight because as soon as they hit the cold air outside they are going to drop to the floor like flies.

Ste frees himself from Amy's grasp, leaving her with Cheryl who isn't drunk at all, which Brendan finds odd, she's always up for a party and up for a drink but tonight she isn't her normal self. Who would be their normal self though when Amy's catching your wrists trying to pull you up for a dance, when it's something you really don't want to do?

Ste sways over to Brendan, quickly grabbing the arms of the stall either side of Brendan's body to steady himself.

Brendan looks down at Ste's arms, smiling to himself as he looks back up into his eyes. Eyes look different when somebody is intoxicated, yet he notices that Ste's don't, they shine even more if that's possible. "Ye drunk Steven?"

"No. Course I'm not drunk! What gave you that idea?" Ste laughs to himself, cheeky shit.

"I don't know Steven, whatever gave me that idea eh?"

"It's nearly midnight you know. Am I getting a kiss?"

Nate excuses himself, and Brendan doesn't know if it's because he feels uncomfortable, because he wants to free Cheryl or because he doesn't want to help Ste when he falls on the floor. All are possibilities.

"You might."

"Can I get an early one?"

Brendan smirks, and let's the laughter escape. "You do realise we are together Steven, you don't need to ask to kiss me. I've got a thing for vodka-tasting mouths"

"Only _my_ mouth." Steven retorts, putting emphasis on 'my.'

"Hm..." Brendan leans in close to his boy, giving him a quick peck. "You'll get more in..." Brendan looks at his phone. "6 minutes."

"I'll look forward to it."

* * *

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...

"HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRRR"

The room screams. Everybody is hugging and kissing eachother wishing them the best for the year of 2019. Brendan hardly notices anybody else, just Steven, standing right next to him, fingers intertwined.

"Happy New Year Steven."

"Happy New Year Brendan."

Both are silent for a moment before Steven pipes up. "Stop being an annoying bastard making me wait, kiss me now will ya?"

Brendan huffs, thought Steven would wait longer, quite liked playing that game, stepping forward a step, not taking his hands away from Steven's and kissing him probably the most passionately he ever has.

The kiss doesn't last as long as Ste had hoped. Brendan forces his hand away from Ste's, making the loudest sound ever with his hands to get everybody's attention and stepping on the stage that the DJ is on.

"Turn that off for a second mate." He says to the DJ.

Everbody's staring at Brendan. He may seem like the tough guy to everyone else but he's not deep down. This whole speech is going to be so uncomfortable with prying eyes looking into him. He tries the known method that people get given for job interviews. Imagine everyone naked, but no that's weird.

He finds that just looking at Steven will help. He's the one person he needs to listen to him.

"So ye, I'm on a stage so I've obviously got something to say. That drunk idiot right there..." He says, pointing to Ste. "...is my boyfriend, but I don't want him to be that anymore. He's an annoying fuck, I can't stand him sometimes, he does the most irritating things that make me leave in a huff...but I wouldn't change him for anything. He's given me strength, made me realise that even when bad things happen to you, you can get through it, you can become a stronger person in the end. I love him with all my heart. So it's a new year, a new start and hopefully a new life. Steven Hay will you marry me you drunk eejit?"

The room is silent, everybody is rooted to the spot and everyone is looking at Ste who is currently in floods of tears, but has the biggest grin ever on his face. He hasn't spoke though, hasn't even moved.

"Steven, ye kinda leaving me hanging here..."

"Course I will!" Ste shouts, running onto the stage to join Brendan and wrapping his legs around his middle. "I love you Brendan Brady." He whispers in his ear.

"I love you too, but please don't make me carry you home like all those years ago."

"I'll save that for our wedding eh? Oh my god we're actually getting married Bren"

"Yeah." He laughs, putting Ste on the floor. "Yeah,yeah we are."

Ste kisses Brendan, tears still streaming down his face.

The DJ grabs his microphone. "Congratulations you two! Anybody else got any announcements?"

Cheryl walks towards the DJ, still crying herself. Her and Amy weren't best pleased when Ste and Brendan got back together, but overtime they'd realised Brendan had changed, he blamed himself in the end and both could see the accident wasn't his fault. Seeing your partner in that much of a state would be heartbreaking for anybody and if you really thought you'd caused it, you'd want to leave and let them start afresh. They knew that now, and if anything Brendan and Amy had become _friends_ of some sort.

Cheryl took the microphone from the DJ. "I just wanna say I'm so happy for you two! I knew you were planning something Brendan. Sneeky bugger not even telling his own sister. I really don't want to make this about myself, but I was going to release this tonight before he got in the way.." She gave Brendan a wink just to show she wasn't being serious. "Some of you might notice I haven't been drinking tonight, and well there's a reason for that..."

She didn't even get to finish her sentence before Ste shouted. "OH MY GOD CHERYL ARE YOU HAVING A KID?"

"Well that's that released then, thanks Ste. Yes me and Nate are having a baby..."

Ste freed himself from Brendan's arms and walked fastly towards Cheryl. "I'm gonna be an uncle, like a proper uncle. Not like a godfather sorta uncle. Like an actual uncle! Uncle Brendan and Uncle Ste! Congrats Chez!"

"Thanks babe."

"Congrats sis."

"Ta."

* * *

Brendan was laying in bed with Ste, still talking at 3 in the morning. He knew he wouldn't be getting sleep anytime soon. Most people that were pissed would pass out as soon as their head hit the pillow. But oh no, not Steven he could talk for England.

"So like what will our colour theme be? Red? Oh no I like blue actually. Do ya like blue?"

"Yeah blue's nice."

"Nice? No I want it to look proper lovely Bren. What about black and white?"

"Yeah black and white's good."

"With white roses or something?"

"Yeah."

"Oh! And then the table clothes right, they can be black and the tablemats can be white..."

"Steven." Brendan took Ste's cheek in his hand, turning his face towards his. "Can we talk about this tomorrow when ye sober? Gonna forget all your _amazing_ ideas aint ye?"

Ste laughed. "Yeah probably for the best init? I love you Brendan. Thankyou for tonight. I wasn't expecting it at all."

"I just want the best for my _fiance_..."

"Can your_ fiance_ sleep with you now?" Ste flirted back.

"You never need to ask me that Steven, never. Love you."

Ste smiled into the kiss. It still melted his heart, this many years on when they shared mutual I love you's. It took Ste a little while to say it all those months ago, but it's just an everyday occurence now. He was happy, he was with the man that was always meant for him. The first man he'd ever been intimate with, the first man he loved. He'd never get every single memory back properly, but this was the future now. He may have forgotten memories, but now he was ready to start new ones.

_New ones with the man he was going to marry._

* * *

**That was weird the way that flowed, I wrote it so quickly...**

**Sorry again that it was only an epilogue, I didn't know where to go with the remainder of the story, so I hope this cute chapter made up for that. I may write the wedding sometime in the future if anybody was interested. Not straight away though, I need to cry a bit at Brendan's departure before I write future things that we would never actually get.**

**Thankyou for all the reviews - the guest one's aswell. All the readers who didn't leave reviews, as much as I begged.**

**Love you all! x**


End file.
